and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
