your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
