He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
