I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize