yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
