also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
