WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
