he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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