the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
