The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
