thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
