Where is the hickey?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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