I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
