Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize