I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
