I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
