I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
