Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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