I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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