so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
