if only i could text you this smell
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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