just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
