Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
