Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
