I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
