my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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