I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
