he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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