so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
