my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I need moral support for this bender
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
