I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
