i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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