its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
where are my eyebrows?
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