Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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