If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just invented taco cereal.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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