when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
