youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
