omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All the doctor said was why
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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