I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
