dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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