The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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