i just had sex bonerless
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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