no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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