You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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