That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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