Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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