I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
