I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need to calm my uterus...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
