I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
