I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
