how can u be prego again
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
