peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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