I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
