she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize