I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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