Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
