smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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