I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
