Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
