She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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