there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
