I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
